that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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