What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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