Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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