Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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