sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
