I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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