i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
