ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Your face is a jimmy john
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
