I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
