We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
