the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
