i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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