Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
