just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
