I don't think brook has ever known best
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
