She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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