Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize