Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
