I think my vagina is haunted
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
