K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
