Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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