I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
