my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
