talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize