I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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