Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Shame - the story of my life.
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