will power is for people who don't want to get laid
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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