You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize