i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize