bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I wish i was in the wii world.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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