you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
