Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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