There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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