We should be called the Road Head Warriors
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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