It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
