so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
