I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
