38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
