There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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