Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
