Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize