That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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