wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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