ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
wanna go halves on a baby?
i will never coherently bang her
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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