You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm too high and old for this...
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