But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize