M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
