i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
