We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize