Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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