We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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