so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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