Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
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