no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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