There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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