Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
