he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I just forgot I was standing up.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
