It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
