Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
