He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
