I skipped work to stalk him.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
